


In this life and the next

by Ggeri_Sminth



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alpha Kylo Ren, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Don’t copy to another site, Intersex, Intersex Hux, M/M, Memory Suppressing, Omega Armitage Hux, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Reincarnation, Soul Bond, Soulmates, intersex omega
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 06:55:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17893649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ggeri_Sminth/pseuds/Ggeri_Sminth
Summary: Kylo always remembers his past life; all of them leading him to one person his home. The only issue is that person never remembers their life, leaving Kylo to find him over and over again. Sometimes things don't always go as planned.





	In this life and the next

When Kylo was a child he had visions of fire red and sea green. These visions always brought on a strong sense of comfort that he couldn’t get anywhere else. He hadn’t ever really fit in with his family and Kylo sometimes wondered if he belonged to that family or if fate and the Force had made a mistake. Of course, the Force never makes a mistake it chooses and guides all to the path that they are supposed to be on. The sense of belonging continued to stay with him each time he would see the fire and sea that brought him closer and closer to the home that he knew he belonged to. As he got older and older that longing to find his missing piece drove him away from all the other children, he wasn’t like them. They didn’t understand that there was a part of him that was missing, and he needed to find it, he would only be complete when he is reunited with the fire and ocean.

Then almost as suddenly as it began it all stopped. Kylo stopped seeing the fire and ocean, he stopped feeling the need and longing and with that the sense of comfort of home. Kylo had become Snoke’s apprentice and that was the end of the feelings. The end of the Fire and Ocean he wouldn’t be needing them anymore. The dark side didn’t allow for love or attachment. He didn’t need companionship, the thing that he had once craved and wished for so long. At first, it scared Kylo that he couldn’t feel or see the Fire and Ocean but Snoke was quick to correct that and after a while, Kylo just simply forgot about it. The feelings faded till it was as if they weren’t there anymore.

When Kylo first meets the redheaded general he feels drawn to him, an immediate pull that he couldn’t part from. It was if he was on a path that twisted and curved but didn’t have a single divider in the path. Though this feeling was strong Kylo dismissed it, there was no need for the general. He was a pest and Kylo didn’t really want to have anything to do with him. He wasn’t sure why Snoke kept the ignorant and boastful man around. Besides the general is a beta and as betas can’t have children Kylo finds him even more useless. Hux is just a general and as such he should stay that way, Snoke agrees. He is a rabid cur that should be kept on a leash, a very short and tight leash. He truly doesn’t think anything else of the general unless it has something to do with annoying and frustrating the general as well as a bit of pain. He really needs to keep the man on his toes, he can’t have him getting sloppy and Hux is just so easy to throw around. He doesn’t even notice that the red hair that Hux sports reminds him of the fire that he once knew as a child.

When Starkiller gets destroyed and his father dies at his own hands Kylo thinks that he has finally snuffed out the light. Yet a soft fire seems to live on within him, it sits within his heat and warms him to the core. It is small but it is still there, fighting to grow bigger and bigger, if only it would be allowed to. It confuses him but Hux confuses him even more. He doesn’t understand why Hux would save him, would go looking for him in the darkness and the snow as a planet is collapsing. He knows that Snoke would have ordered Hux to find Kylo, but it would have been easy to say that he was too late, and the planet collapsed just as he was getting to him. Easy to get rid of the man that Kylo knows disgusts him. Yet Kylo knows, he can feel that there is more to it. There is another reason that Hux saved him even if Hux himself doesn’t even know it. He even seemed worried that Kylo might die, that even the baka tank wouldn’t save him from his wounds. Kylo can sense his deep dreaded thoughts and they are all in pain the need to Kylo to stay alive, please just stay alive. All these thoughts bother him so much and Kylo doesn’t even understand why, why he would be so upset that the general is in pain. That the general is so hurt by the fact that Kylo could die it was truly a matter of chance.

He heals, and the doctors are able to take him out of the baka tank the relief that Kylo feels coming from Hux smacks him hard in the face and finally, Kylo must face the fact that there is something there between them. There is something that he doesn’t understand that he needs to figure out, sooner rather than later. Yet he doesn’t know who he could go to, who would be able to figure out all the questions that are running around in his head. He can’t go to Snoke, he knows that his master is angry, they had spent years and resources on Starkiller, and it was all for nothing. Well, Kylo didn’t think that it was completely all for nothing; no, they did get one whole shot out of it. It was blessed and Kylo felt all those lives die, leave the world and join the Force again. It was hard for him, but he knew that it was something that Hux had wanted, or had it been? Had Snoke brainwashed Hux into creating a world killer, not a planet but the world. They destroyed a whole star system after all.

That leads them to the punishment of the destruction of Starkiller base, as well as the loss of the scavenger girl. He still doesn’t quite understand how he was able to lose to her, he should be far, far stronger than her. Yet he lost and Kylo can’t help but think that the whole deal was due to him and that Hux really didn’t deserve to be punished. Snoke of course, thought differently. Hux was just as much to blame if not more, that frustrated and upset Kylo more than he even realized. Yet Kylo is sure that Snoke could sense his feelings on the matter and deemed it reasonable to punish Hux even more and harder, in a way that he would never forget. It is at this time that Kylo realizes that Hux isn’t a beta but instead an omega. Something that he had kept hidden quite well, though Kylo knows that Snoke had known all along. He knew what Hux was and had always planned to use it against him at some point. It just happened that this became a perfect opportunity to use it.

Kylo was Forced to watch as the guards within the supremacy Forcefully stripped Hux of his clothing. Hux had fought it at first but he stopped and relented to the punishment that he was going to endure when Snoke began to choke him with the Force, holding the man above his guards sneering at him. He would lie there and take it, or they would repeat the process the next day and the day after that until Hux got it through his head that he was the bitch, and this was his punishment. When Snoke finally releases Hux he falls with a thud onto his clothing and the guards go back to Hux’s punishment. Continuing as if Snoke hadn’t just interrupted them, the Force Hux’s legs apart in a brutal yank. Two hold his legs while another goes in for the kill. They take him apart cruelly, Kylo isn’t sure but he thinks that Hux was a virgin and the first guard that rams intake that away from him.

In the beginning, Hux doesn’t scream, there are tears that strike down his cheeks but Kylo can tell that his lips are bitten red in order to not allow Snoke to see how much pain that he is in. How much this punishment is affecting him. He can’t keep it up for long, by the time the fourth guard is taking his turn there is already blood and semen slicking the path and covering his thighs. Kylo can see the tearing around the sides of Hux’s pussy. The way it is red and raw from the brutal pounding that doesn’t let up. By this time Hux can’t keep the screaming down and Kylo thinks that Hux’s throat will be raw once this is all said and done. It makes him sick to watch the pain that Hux is in. He wants to stop it, to destroy everyone that has touched Hux. He keeps that thought buried though, he can’t have more pain come to Hux from his absent thoughts.

There are so many guards and Kylo doesn’t even want to count them. After about the sixth one Hux stops screaming and Kylo wonders if he has gone numb to the pain. Instead, he just lies there and whimpers and softly every time his sensitive flesh is brushed. His eyes are hazed over and Kylo wonders if Hux is even there anymore. When they are finally done, they drop Hux like a rag doll leaving him in a mess of semen and blood. Some had even started to dry, and it makes Kylo want to hurl. There are bruises all over his body; his arms, legs, wrists and even his neck. Kylo must swallow the vile in his throat when Snoke speaks again.

“Let this be a lesson, you shall not fail me again general. Now get up, go clean yourself off, but there will be no reporting to medical. I think you need to sit on this for a couple of days. Let is fully sink in.”

At that point, Kylo knows deep down in his heart that Hux will never be the same again and something in him breaks. He wants to kill Snoke, he will never ever allow this to happen to Hux again. Hux is his to protect. Kylo doesn’t quite know why he feels this, but he doesn’t care. He will do anything and everything in his power to protect Hux. Even if that means going against his master, Kylo will not allow this horrid punishment to happen again, and Kylo knows deep down that if he doesn’t do something soon there is a chance that it will once again be repeated. When Hux is finally able to pull himself up Kylo can feel the deep stink of pain run through his body as if they are connected. Kylo must grit his teeth as to not shout or scream. It burns him to see the once proud omega so hurt and lost, beaten and raped. His own second gender used against him in a way that should have never been done.

Kylo knows that what Snoke did was dark and wrong and Kylo doesn’t think that he wants to stay on the Dark side if this is something that is welcomed. This should be frowned upon and never ever used as a punishment. He would gladly take Hux away from all of this if that meant that Hux would never be raped again. The general is to be treasured, why Kylo doesn’t know but he knows that he is. He knows that Hux is something special and there isn’t anything that will make him think any less of him.

When Rey betrays him and doesn’t accept his offer to join him in ruling the galaxy Kylo is frustrated and upset. Yet he knows that it was never meant to happen. When Snoke’s head hit the floor Kylo could feel the rush of emotions return to him and the need to protect his Fire and Sea. They begin to call him again, the need to hold and comfort. There was so much pain. The burst of anger and power that comes from him as he slaughters all Snoke’s guards. He doesn’t leave a single one of them alive, even if they were to pledge their allegiance to him. None of them deserved to be spared. They had raped and tortured a soul that didn’t deserve it at their master’s command and even enjoyed it. It disgusted him more than they would ever know, and he would put an end to all the darkness and sourness that came with it.

Kylo doesn’t really understand why Hux hesitates in killing him. If he were him, he would have pulled the trigger and been done with him. He had stood by and watched the rape, done nothing to stop it. Of course, Hux didn’t know that Snoke had held him in place. That he had tried to get to him, how much he wanted to the punishment to stop. Yet with all this knowledge, he lashes out anyways, he always did have a hard time controlling his anger. His mother would always chaste him when he broke his favorite toy. Hux wasn’t a toy but it seemed that he was doing the same thing again. All the power that Snoke had been siphoning from him had Forced its way back into him and Kylo didn’t quite know how to handle it. He was still so angry; at Rey, at Snoke, at Luke, and at Hux. So, what does Kylo do, he takes it all out on Hux, the one that he is angry with the less, but the most convenient. The easiest to get to, and he does it twice.

Really, he knew that he shouldn’t have done it, it wasn’t truly Hux’s fault. He hadn’t deserved it at all, the strong omega didn’t deserve his childish temper tantrum. He didn’t deserve the childish anger that made him lash out at the only ones that were close. Kylo knew better and as such he hid away from Hux, he couldn’t even look the man in the eyes knowing that he had hurt him once again. During that time of hiding, things begin to become clear to him. Memories that Kylo didn’t have rush back into his mind. They begin to overwhelm him, forcing themselves back into him all at once instead of slowly trickling in as it should have over the years. Kylo is Forced to go into a deep meditation so that he can sort through the memories that that flood him. He must figure out how Hux is involved in all of this and what his mind and the Force is trying to tell him.

Finally, after several days Kylo understands Hux is his fire and his sea, his home. He finally understood why he had been so drawn to him, why whenever Hux was in pain he felt that pain as well. Why he had wanted to protect the man more than he thought he should. Hux was his, he belonged to him, his omega his general. He truly had thought that he was killing Snoke for Rey, and it just happened to benefit Hux. He wouldn’t be hurt anymore but deep down even then Kylo had known that he didn’t do it for Rey. No, he had used her to get to Snoke so that he could kill him for Hux so that Hux would never feel that pain ever again. So that his mate, his omega would be freed from the pain and anguish that Snoke brought him. He would be freed from the terror that haunted him. A promise that Kylo had made to the Force, to protect Hux no matter what, and if he couldn’t avenge him.

Kylo knows that he fucked up this time, that what he did would have turned Hux against him. He could feel the anger and hate rolling from Hux all the time. Kylo knew that he probably wouldn’t ever get Hux the way that he had in his past lives, but he could try. He knew that Hux would probably never want him after all of this, but he prayed that he would at least be able to allow Hux to find some comfort in his presence and not fear. To know that he would never hurt him again, Hux will always be his home, even if Kylo wasn’t his. So, he tries to fix things, starting off with apologizing. Hux didn’t believe him of course, and Kylo didn’t expect him to. Hux doesn’t trust him, he keeps looking over his shoulder just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Kylo knows that it will take time and though it frustrates him he will keep apologizing and trying to make it up to the man, he can’t punish himself enough.

It hurts to see the anger in Hux’s eyes every time that Kylo tries to do something nice for him and it frustrates him when he feels like he isn’t making any progress. Kylo knows that he can’t just walk up to Hux and say, ‘You are my mate, you are always my mate it is written in the stars by the Force. For this life and the next.’ That would go over well… Hux never remember their past lives, he is always Force null and as such he has no access to the Force that gives Kylo the ability to remember all their lives. Though there are many things that change there is always a few things that stay the same. Hux is always an omega, no matter his gender, man or woman. Hux’s hair is always red and his eyes green; giving Kylo the feeling of fire and sea, and he always has freckles that litter his skin that maps the stars in the night sky. In the past Kylo shares bits and pieces of their past lives with Hux, telling him about all their children and the lives that they lived, but that is the only thing that Hux can have. Kylo is the only one that is blessed with the Force and as such he must find Hux in every life.

They are destined for each other, and as such Kylo knows that it is his duty to make things better. He tries his best by making Hux his Grand Marshal. He would gladly give Hux the title of Supreme Leader if he thought for one second that Hux wouldn’t murder him the second he could. This doesn’t make Hux any less wary of him, but he is appreciative of the promotion, something in his eyes twinkle at the name and Kylo uses it as often as he can just to see that twinkle once more. Kylo of course, doesn’t blame Hux for being wary of him, he had done so much to wrong him, and Kylo is sure that he triggered Hux as well. A strong reminder of what Snoke had done to him in punishment and Kylo was never going to do that, but how was Hux to know. No matter what he promised him, he could still tell that Hux didn’t quite believe that.

Sometimes Kylo doesn’t make it in time for them to be together, and Kylo wonders if this going to be one of those times. When he must sit by the sidelines and watch his love, love someone else. Usually, Kylo is the first one to die, he is always the brute of the two of them and as such he lives the dangerous life. Hux is almost always the brains, the wonderful mind that sees everything. Kylo doesn’t want this time to be one of the times where he must watch Hux from the sidelines, it makes him work harder and harder to get through to Hux to give him all the loves that he deserves and knows if for him. For Kylo there will never be another, he will forever and always love Hux.

Within the next year Kylo mellows out, he doesn’t have that many more outbursts. Of course, Kylo is still a Force to be reckoned with no one wants to be on the others side of his anger. His power has bloomed, increasing tenfold. He doesn’t lash out at Hux anymore and he doesn’t take it out on the ship or those that work under him. Hux does take notice and as such he begins to relax as well and Kylo takes that as a win. Though Kylo knows that the time still isn’t right. After Hux had been raped Kylo had feared that Hux would become pregnant. His heart sang with joy when that didn’t happen. He knew that this Hux was strong, but in the past, his mate hadn’t been so strong. Another alpha had Forced himself on to his mate and Hux had gotten pregnant. The child had come to full term, at the time it would have been looked down upon to get an abortion and Hux would have been shunned from the whole town. It was bad enough that no one believed that Hux has been raped and as such he committed suicide. His mind is unable to live with all the shame. Kylo took the news terribly, he hadn’t been in town when the rape happened, he had been away at war. The man had gotten to take the child that belonged to his mate, the one that he fostered by Force. Kylo slit the alpha's neck and bled him dry. He didn’t care what happened to him after that, Hux had died because of the shame and Kylo hadn’t been there to save him.

Kylo doesn’t know if Hux would do that in this life, or if he would abort the child. What Kylo does know is that he is grateful that he doesn’t have to worry about it. It is also another blessing when Hux stops plotting his demise and death. When the man begins to feel more comfortable around Kylo he takes that as another win. Just being able to sit in the same room and enjoy a conversation with him. It brings Kylo more comfort than he first realized, something that he dearly missed.

One year soon becomes two and with that Kylo’s hair grows longer and longer, staying in its slightly untamed sort of way. In most of their past lives, Hux had liked to play with Kylo’s hair to braid and weave it into lovely designs. Hux had always been emasculating with it and it made Kylo’s heart jump in happiness seeing the love in his mates’ eyes. He wondered if this reincarnation would be the same. He would love to feel the fingers of his lover running through his hair weaving it into designs that he would never be able to do on his own. After a while, Kylo takes notice that he had never seen Hux go into heat and that thought worried him greatly.

Kylo knew that this in of itself might set back all the progress that he had made on getting Hux to be more comfortable with him. Yet it was a chance that he had to take, Hux’s health was important to him. Not just as his mate, but also as a member of the First Order. He would do anything to make sure that Hux is in good health and standing. He had wanted to start courting the omega but Kylo knows now that the time still isn’t right. That he will have to wait a little longer, but he knows in his heart that it won’t be that much longer, if only he keeps Hux happy as he informs him that he needs to see a medical officer about his heats.

It was strange, Hux didn’t even put up a fight when Kylo informed him that he would be going to see the medical staff about his heats. Kylo knew that an omega should never go so long without heat and that it can cause issues later in life. Not only with having children but also in general. Keeping his hormones suppressed is a devastating thing to do to one’s body. Kylo isn’t surprised when the medic tells Hux that he will have to be taken from his suppressants and that he will have to spend at least five years cycling before she would even consider allowing him to go back on them. Hux hadn’t been too happy when he was informed of this development, but he didn’t fight it. Kylo wondered if he was just resigned to what his body was and what Kylo know. Something that he had tried to keep hidden for so long, and even had been able to do so. Kylo is glad though that he takes it in stride, all the missed heats had made Hux’s immune system weak, far weaker than Kylo liked it.

When Hux’s first heat comes they aren’t prepared. It hits him in the middle of delta shift and it hits him hard. Hux barely makes it to his quarters, but Kylo makes sure that no one would hurt or even touch the Grand Marshal. Kylo can feel all the pain and suffering that Hux was going through, it was like Hux had never been through a heat before. That scared Kylo more than anything else, the thought that this was Hux’s first heat. Kylo hurts so much for him so much, wishing that he will be able to ease some of the pain that Hux is suffering through. He doesn’t go to him though, Kylo knows that Hux doesn’t want it. He would never put him through that, it would be way to close to the rape that he had suffered at the hands of Snoke, even if his body and soul calls out for him.

After his first heat cycles through it become easier, they are still hard on him, but it is much easier for Hux. He goes through one every other month for a couple of days. Kylo can see how much it drains him and how much Hux wishes that he had someone to pass the heat with. No one comes to him though and Kylo finds that sad, he himself wants to comfort Hux through these heats, but he knows deep down that Hux wouldn’t want that at all. Halfway through the third year in their development Kylo actually sees Hux smile. It was strange but oh so welcome, something that he didn’t think that he would ever have the chance to see. It brings a warmth to him that he didn’t even know was possible. Kylo knows that he has a chance again. After that, it becomes second nature for him as he begins the courting process.

Hux takes to it kindly, he likes receiving the gifts and even allows Kylo to kiss him. Hux is still a little weary of Kylo in some things, and he doesn’t always trust Kylo, but none of that will stop him. He is happy that he will soon have his mate, the person that he belongs with and belongs too. Hux is his as much and he is Hux’s. It goes without saying that you can’t have one without the other, and he knows that he can’t live without Hux. After what seems like forever Hux finally allows him the honor of getting him through his heat. With much discussion and persuasion on Kylo’s part they decide that if all goes well then, the next heat Kylo and Hux will complete the mating bond.

Kylo was happy to report that the heat went well and within the next couple of months he began the preparation of becoming Hux’s mate. It was something that Kylo didn’t think that he was ever going to get so being so close to it made him giddy. Hux still didn’t know what exactly he meant to him, or well how much he meant to Kylo but that didn’t matter all in due time. For now, it was enough to be mated to him, and mated were. It wasn’t a big thing, one day they were just lovers the next they were married. It was something Kylo cherished and would always cherish. One day he would tell Hux all about their past lives, all the times that he found him over and over again. How much he loved him and why he would do anything for him, but for now he was content to sit and watch his mate breath.

Watch the rise and fall of his omega’s chest with the knowledge that soon he would be round with child. He thanked the Force that it had given him this, a mate and soon a child. He knew that it would come, as he had seen it in a vision. Something that kept him fighting, knowing that one day he will have the family that he craved, that his fire and sea still belonged to him. A home that he didn’t know he needed but was glad to have found. He swore to the stars and through the Force that no matter what he would always find him. Kylo would always come for him, and never give up. He swore this promise on his first life when his love and mate died in his arms, he would find him and never let him go. Hux is his king, his emperor, and love. He will always protect find and protect him no matter the cost.

“Always and forever as the Force shall see it done.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for all of you're love and support as well as reading. You can always hit me up on my Tumblr; Ggeri Sminth if you would like to chat or see what I might be up too. This year I am also running a little survey to see what you my readers would like to see more of in my free time. ------>[Survey!](https://goo.gl/forms/MUBgTqU1NHxf4OTn1)   
> Leave me a little info I would be very appreciative of it all! As always don't forget to Comment and Kudo! Thanks! ^^


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